


No, Not Ok

by Shoulderpads



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Post-The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye Issue 15 (IDW)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-11 21:42:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16860814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoulderpads/pseuds/Shoulderpads
Summary: Drift and Rodimus share a night together before someone is going to have to take the blame





	No, Not Ok

**Author's Note:**

> (Geez why does rodimus have three character tags??)
> 
> Anyway! Howdy, I’ve recently gotten back into tf and just started Lost Light, HOWEVER! Back in 2015, when I’d just gotten into the fandom, I actually wrote a lot. I actually like this old junk, so I thought I might share it now that I finally have a place to post it!
> 
> This was originally written 8/29/15 and details the night before Drift’s exile. 
> 
> I have done some light editing, but it’s for the most part, completely intact.

Rodimus turned an empty energon cube, catching the light off of it. He and Drift had drunken themselves to the floor, now laying opposite directions but with their heads near each other. 

"Hey, Drift."

The swordmech turned his head. 

"What was it like to be a Decepticon?"

Drift looked towards the ceiling. His digits tapped against his chest plates in thought. "Not too bad, a little rough, but that's war for you. When you're not getting yelled at by you superiors, you're trying to get yourself overcharged off your single rationed cube of regular energon and maybe you get the entertainment of a brawl, and maybe if your superior is angry enough someone's gonna die as a punishment. 

“Some join the forces with an interest in art or something. That doesn't stay long. 

“Now,” he pointed up, “life gets good when you've only got one guy venting down your spinal strut. I did a lot of the being mad at underlings and trying to get overcharged on my every once and awhile cube of high grade. I only had to worry about Turmoil being mad at me. And yeah he got mad a lot, and yeah I got it worse than the others, bigger they are hard they fall I guess, but I could handle it. I'm tough as nails, you know."

Rodimus moved sluggishly to straddle over Drift's hips, "You? Hippie Dippie Drift, tough as nails?" He covered Drifts mouth with his. 

Drift laughed a little, turning away. "Hey, I'm tougher than I look, and you didn't know me then. I'd have shot your head off for being such a mouthy mech."

Rodimus press his forehelm to Drift's, "You seem to like me being mouthy," he caught the other mech in a kiss again. 

"Not what I meant." Drift murmured against Rodimus’s mouth.

When Rodimus leaned back to occupy himself with Drift's finials, the white mech took a turn asking questions. “So, I guess I can't really ask you what's it's like to be an Autobot, but what's it like to be a Prime and carry the Matrix?"

"Mm," Rodimus worked the edge of his mouth with his denta. "It's hard sometimes, the responsibility of being a Prime, but it's kind of nice to be important. And I kind of sometimes feel the presences of past Primes, even if they're so slight that I can't even identify them, but they're there. They're part of me."

Drift nodded. "That's kind of what it's like to use a Great Sword, I am aware of the wielders who have passed it down, even if it's only an imprint."

"And when I accepted the Matrix, I don't want to brag-"

"Rodimus Prime? Not wanting to brag?" Drift grinned and pecked Rodimus' cheek when he rolled his optics. 

"It felt wonderful, probably more wonderful than anything any of you guys have ever felt."

"Probably better than anything I've felt for sure.” Drift trailed kisses down Rodimus' neck cables. “But I'll take what I can get."

Rodimus tilted his head back, "I don't even notice the Matrix most of the time." his voice box rumbled against Drift's kisses. "I only really feel it when it's important, when I need it. It's scary as hell though when I get into some deep scrap because it starts doing this pulling feeling as if anticipating my death and looking for someone to move on to. Magnus would furious if he knew I felt that and still risked myself so often." For a moment it looked as though Rodimus meant to laugh but his expression quickly turned downward, "Magnus..." He shuttered his optics. “ _Primus..._ ” He rested his forehelm against Drift's shoulder and whispered, "I can't do this, Drift, I can't. It's my fault."

"Hey, hey," Drift brought up a servo and rubbed his thumb against the other mech's faceplate, "It's not you're fault, you didn't kill anyone, Overlord did."

"Yes, but I can't punish Overlord now can I, Drift?" Rodimus let out a hot ventilation and pushed himself back, "You shouldn't have to leave. It's my fault."

"Rodimus, we already talked about this, I thought we were just going to try and enjoy this one last night."

"But I can't, it doesn't matter how much I drink, I can't shake this guilt. It'd be a different story if I had reason other than Prowl hurting my pride to put Overlord here, but I don't. I was stupid and I blew you off and the crew deserves to know."

"You know you can't do-"

"How do we even know what you saw wasn't just some near death hallucination?! You can't prove that what you saw is actually true, Drift! You weren't thinking straight before you stabbed yourself, how can we know you were thinking straight right after?!"

"You just have to trust me! I don't care if no one out there ever comes to trust me again as long as you trust me on this!" He gripped Rodimus's forearms. “Without you this whole quest is for nothing. Without you the Knights of Cybertron will never be found and the Lost Light will come back home empty handed to 'I told you so's’ from Prowl and Bumblebee. The crew needs someone to blame and it can't be you. Chromedome and Brainstorm are valuable assets and I'm willing to take the fall for them too," Drift paused, "It won't be hard for the crew to believe I'd do such a thing after all," he added with a hint of bitterness. 

"You still shouldn't have to leave. Why can't I just throw you in the brig? There's a reason we have it."

Drift shook his helm. “Throwing me in the brig won't be enough for the crew."

"Tough shit! I'm the captain and I choose the punishments around here, and the rest of the crew will just have to deal with it!" Rodimus crossed his arms. 

"You'd look like you were acting on favoritism."

"I wouldn't want throw Brainstorm off the ship either if he were the one sitting in my office...preferably in a chair though. Fort Max ripped off Ring's thumb and empaled Whirl and shot several crew members and he gets to be in the brig."

"Max wasn't in a right state of mind at the time."

"Ugh! You get my point!"

"I get it but that doesn't make it correct. Just-this is the best option, ok?"

"No, not ok." Rodimus grabbed the swordmech's chin. “What's this really about, Drift?" 

"Nothing. There's no underlying meaning to this."

"The hell there isn't. You're a terrible liar. You can't deceive anyone, no wonder you didn't make it as a 'Con."

Drift rolled his optics, "That's not why-"

"Spill it."

"What?"

"Stop procrastinating and tell me why you wanna leave so bad."

"It's not important."

"If it isn't important why are you avoiding it so desperately?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Drift pushed Rodimus off himself and stood up. “Because everywhere I go, someone ends up with a hole in their chest, everywhere I go, people get hurt!"

"Hey, don't be a hypocrite! The hole in Magnus's chest isn't your fault either. Overlord put it there!" Rodimus hopped to his pedes as well. 

"With my sword!" Drift leaned forward into Rodimus' personal space with denta bared. “Which I only have because the previous owner also got stabbed in the chest!"

"The weapon Overlord used isn't relevant! At least not as a reason you need to leave!"

Drift ran a servo down his faceplate, "Wherever I go, danger follows. Wherever I go people get hurt. And I've come to realize I can't stop running."

"What makes you think that?"

"Going to Delphi was like getting hit with cold water. I liked to tell myself that I wasn't scared. Of anything for that matter. Big tough ego. But being so close to The...them, really gave me a slap to the face. I was terrified. So much so I asked Ratchet to kill me if they came. And it doesn't really matter where I go, but I can call the shots in who gets hurt because of association with me."

Rodimus placed his servos on his hips. "Yeah ok. What about Ambulon or Cyclonus?"

"Ambulon lived in their territory for years. If they couldn't be bothered to pluck him out of Delphi, they won't be bothered to come after the ship. As for Cyclonus...he still probably isn't as high on the list as me. I'm sure I'm high priority. You don't go from Megatron's pet to Autobot without resentment."

"If you were one of Megatron's favorites, wouldn't they want to keep you alive then?"

"You're not thinking about this." Drift shook his helm. "When you go from a mech who stood next to Megatron while Starscream stood next to you, not the other way around, and then you betray him even after he sends one of the most renowned bounty hunters out there to bring you back alive, you don't get a 'it's ok, we Decepticons aren't mad' instead you get 'get fragged dirty traitor glitch' and I can only assume it comes with a nice side of getting your friends grievously murdered as well."

"Drift, we're a whole ship and they're five guys. We can take 'em."

"No you can't." Drift's words were clipped and monotone. “Think you're the only one to have thought of that plan?" 

Rodimus looked away with a deep frown. 

"So, you know I'm right." Drift softened his voice. “Hey, we still have tonight, ok?" He turned the captain's helm toward his with a digit under the chin.

"No, not ok," Rodimus muttered but kissed Drift anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked that, maybe I’ll polish and post some more!
> 
> Hit me up at shoulderpads-mcgee2 on tumblr if you haven’t already jumped ship to a new platform!
> 
> (And if you have a link to a transformers discord, please let me in, I am lonely)


End file.
